Fucking optimists. I mean, I know they mean well, but still. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, or so I hear.
Without taking into consideration the severity of your situation, they’ll spew out these trite clichés, oblivious to the idea that rather than fucking helping, they’re only annoying you even more.
I already covered the stupid “cloud theory” these well-meaning idiots have. Here’s another one of their fantastic contributions to your problems:


Yeah. If life handed me (or anyone else, for that matter) fucking fruit, I guess we wouldn’t be that worse off. But instead of lemons, life at times deals us REAL PROBLEMS, not lemons.
I know the meaning. “Make the best out of every situation, no matter how bad it is”. Fuck you and your good intentions. Go back in time and tell these vietnamese children they can have all the lemonade in the world:


I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.

If life handed me lemons, I’d be baking all kinds of lemon pies, and quite frankly, instead of lemonade, I’d be much better off running to the liquor store, purchasing a bottle of tequila, and doing the shot-lemon-salt routine over and over again.


Yet, I’m lucky that in my life I’ve had problems which pale in comparison to others’. Does that mean whatever solution to my problems can be substituted with a shitty phrase which doesn’t make any sense? Well, no, technically.  But if all you have to offer when I’m in a crappy mood is something you remember you once read off a stupid Hallmark card, please do me a favour and stay away from me. Very away.

You fruit!

The Iceberg.