So, what’s the latest between me and my favorite phone company in the whole wide world?
Last I told you about was a few months ago, when they cut my service – both the phone and the internet – on the very same day I had told them I would pay, and did. Then, there was the whole deal with having them reconnect my service (having to call from a pay phone, even). Eventually, they did. You must be thinking since I haven’t talked about them in a while, it’s all peaches and cream, right?
Well, you’d be wrong.
On my next bill after that one, I was being charged a hundred bucks for my cancellation – $65 for cancelling my service, and $35 for returning my modem. Total charges for that month were 250 quid, more or less.
I said “huh”?, and I tried calling them. I never got through to them. I did what I thought would get their attention: stop paying, until THEY called ME.
Well, eventually someone did call. I explained my situation, she said she’d transfer me to another department, and my call was dropped. THAT’S HER FUCKING JOB, and she can’t even do that right. Not that I’m surprised, but oh well. I tried calling back. I wasn’t going to waste 5 minutes of my life on “on hold” music. Since I didn’t want to lose my service, I went to the bank and threw them $100.
My next bill arrives, this time for $300. So, they never got around to realizing I still have my modem, and my service has been in fact reconnected. Furthermore, I never cancelled my service, all that happened was that they had suspended it. A bullshit charge – someone capable of tying their own shoelaces would have noticed by now.
I repeat my strategy: I wait for them to call. Eventually, someone does. I explain my situation. This fucko doesn’t even offer to transfer me to the correct department – he just goes on to explain that the ONE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS, including my modem returning fee, are all part of how, since I didn’t pay on time a couple of months ago, THEY decided to cancel my service. In fact, his words were “you have to pay the cancellation fee because your service was cancelled”.
So, Einstein here can’t tell the difference between a $100 cancellation/modem returning fee, and a $25 reconnection fee, which is what I’m threatened by on my bill every month, if I don’t pay on time. I wonder if all he wants for christmas is a Dora The Explorer coloring book and a box of crayons. I hang up on him.
I receive one of those “threatening” letters in the mail the same day I toss them another $100. It is signed by a C. Warburton, who claims to be the vice-president of credit services, or something to that effect.
I consider writing him, since along with hi signature I can see his email address, but hey… I realize vice-presidents of credit services, especially in Bell Canada, don’t have the time or the skill to write a letter. They spend most of their time pinching “ears” on balls of play-doh, and exclaiming “look! I made a bear!”.
I’m already thinking of cancelling anyway, but I know what’s going to happen. As soon as they hear I want to cancel, they’re going to want to charge me again. In any case, I checked my messages 10 minutes ago, and apparently they called me (on a phone I apparently cancelled 3 or 4 months ago, no less!) telling me they need to speak to me urgently about my billing situation.
Really!?? Really, Bell?? What are you going to tell me? That I owe 350 bucks now? Despite having thrown you another hundred on friday?
No, Bell, I’ll tell you what. I’ll let YOU call me again. I’m not willing to be put on hold while you finish watching your Hannah Montana DVD. When you call me, we’ll talk. More than likely, we’ll end up discussing my cancellation. For good.
Have a good day!
The Iceberg.
