I have no problems complaining about the quality of both the telecommunications companies I employ. You may have noticed I hate both Bell Canada, and Rogers. Bell Canada offers, for the most part, excellent service. It’s their credit and billing departments that seem to be run by retarded flying monkeys. In the case of Rogers, it’s almost even pleasant to talk to their customer reps, but it’s the service that is a piece of shit.

“Hey, Rogers? Why can’t I place a long distance call to Mexico, despite being charged 7 dollars a month for my Long Distance Saver plan?”
“Uh… it must be the phone companies down there”, they’ll say. Even when I tell them my sister’s shitty $15 a month Koodo service has no problems establishing contact with “the phone companies down there”.

“Hey Rogers, why can’t I send text messages, but can receive them?”
“Uh… you should be able to…”
“Yeah, I should, technically, since I’m being charged for the service, but I can’t. Hence, my call.”
“Yeah, uh… you should be able to…”
“Thanks, asshole”.

So yesterday, the following happened.

“Your text message woke me up last night”, I was told. For the record, yesterday was Monday September 28th.

“Huh?”, I wondered. I had no recollection of texting anyone for the last couple of weeks, let alone Sunday night. I know my mind’s been acting weird lately, but I’m pretty sure I’d remember texting. Or maybe not? Maybe I did send out a text message, and my mind didn’t register the event? Perhaps I texted in my sleep? I even checked my phone to make sure I hadn’t. I felt like I was insane, having to double-check if I did things I was pretty sure I hadn’t done.

I got home from work, and investigated. “What message?”, I asked.
“The one you sent me at 3.15 in the morning, but I only got the second part”.
Now I felt even weirder. I was pretty sure by 3.15 in the morning, I had been asleep for at least 45 minutes. “Are you sure it was me?”, I ask. Should I just call the men in white, already?
“Yes, I’m perfectly positive it was you”. I was shown the image of what appeared to be my text message. I noticed the words that appeared on said message. I grabbed my phone and investigated further. Question marks were floating around my head like a swarm of killer bees.
Then, I saw it. A text message I actually did send, where the last words matched the words I was shown on-screen. I saw the date on that message, and laughed. It was a text message I sent out the night of September 6th., three weeks ago.

It all made sense. Well, except for the fact that it took 3 weeks for Rogers to transfer half a text message. But at least I could put the phone down. The men in white will have to wait another day.

Thanks, Rogers, for making me doubt my sanity! And for not letting me communicate! For crying out loud, I’m paying nearly a hundred bucks for my service, and I have to use the email function on the iPhone because I can’t text, and I have to buy long distance cards because I can’t call directly.
Shit, typing that just made me feel stupid. Why am I even paying these cretins?

The Iceberg