Iceberglandia

Here’s yet another rambling post nobody will give a shit about.

For the last couple of weeks, depression has been sinking in to my mindset. Yet again. The reasons? Too many to mention. The nature? Personal, economic, nostalgic. Desperate times. Spending too much time and energy “making the best of situations”. I’m tired.

On one hand, it’s no fun living on 3-day work weeks. Take tomorrow’s paycheck, for example. Save for maybe 50 bucks, it’s all going towards my rent for May. That leaves me an average of $3.57 a day for the rest of the next two weeks. Next paycheck? Well, I better get busy paying my sister back. Plus, courtesy of a powertripping asshole from Immigration Canada, my GF will probably have to exit Canada on the 20th, which of course will put a dent in my pocket. And the paycheck after that? Again, rent.

My yearly summer trip to Mexico will very likely have to be cancelled. In fact, I doubt I’ll even be able to go for Christmas.

As I mentioned, my GF will almost certainly have to go back home. That, on its own, is bad enough. And all because some racist dipshit decided to stamp her passport based solely on the return date on a plane ticket we purchased with that particular date because it was 200 bucks cheaper than any other we found. And since Immigration Canada is one of many areas controlled by the Government, this is Fuck You Government Of Canada Number One. Don’t worry, there’s more.
Now, the sentimental implications of this are bad enough, but also, what exactly is she going back TO? Being a teacher, she won’t be able to find a job in fucking May. Both our families are, unlike many families in Mexico, of the idea of telling you to fuck off when you ask for help. So, instead of worrying about one household, I have to worry about two. And she has to worry about two as well.

Ever since I started working in Canada, I’ve looked at my pay stubs and noticed one of my deductions goes to EI (Employment Insurance, for those not familiar – think Welfare). You know, just in case I found myself out of work through no fault of my own. It wasn’t even a voluntary thing. It’s automatically deducted. Yet, despite going through my two-week waiting period in December, I have yet to see what I was supposed to receive for the two weeks the plant shut down in March.
As much as it sucks to be depending on the government for financial aid (I’ve always thought of baby mammas and crack fiends when the subject arises), it’s not like it’s a fucking gift. It’s something I’ve been paying all along. And now that it’s their turn, they back out.
Upon inquiring as to whether my situation was in order, I was told if there were any problems, they’d call me back. Since I never heard from them, I’m guessing my things are straight. Judging by what other people at work have said, they have been told they’re not receiving anything because they filed their claim too late, or some random nonsense. I’m calling in later on to find out, but I’m pretty sure it’s time to declare this Fuck You Government Of Canada Number Two.

A few months ago, when I got my Rogers phone bill for $400-odd dollars, I called them up. Sure, it was money that I did owe. I wasn’t backing out. But with things the way they are, I can’t consider a fucking iPhone a priority. I explained things were tough at the moment, and if there was anything that could be done – perhaps “freeze” my account for a while. I did this on the advice I received from people who claimed to have done just that.
A week after that, I received my bill for $500, and why, just yesterday I received another one for $600. They’re billing me as if nothing ever happened. I guess my favorite part of this is that they’re billing me as if my service was still connected (which it hasn’t been for months, now). In any case, whenever I can I’ll pay them. And then I’ll cancel my account with them. And to think, they were going to be my go-to company every time I considered cancelling my Bell internet account.

Hey, speaking of Bell. I received a call a couple of weeks ago, stating that I was late on my bill. We agreed that I’d pay part of it on thurdsay (two weeks ago), which I did. This morning, I received another call. Fuck them. As much as I’d like to pay what I owe, and as much as I’d love to not be without internet, it’s not remotely posible at the moment. If they want to suspend my service, they, too, can go to hell.
Which begs the following question: What is one to do when tempted to boycott the only two providers of decent communication? End up with fucking Fido? or Telus? Do they even offer internet plans? Or should I just suck it up and allow myself to be bullied by Rogers and Bell?

Changing the subject, I am not an attention whore, and have never been. Which is why I don’t belong to attention-whoring forums such as myspace. I don’t use my blogs to boost my sense of belonging, and I hardly ever bother anyone asking for feedback. I might, on occasion, post a question, or ask for advice, or whatever. Perhaps I’m just a little too over-sensitive right now, due to everything going on, but it kind of sucks to read the stats for my blogs and see only 6 people came by. It hurts even more to see that 6 out of 6 people found my blog by typing “Oh The Huge Manatee” in Google. That was the title of a post I made two years ago about how I was gaining weight. And as for comments, well, what that tells me is that what I write just isn’t interesting enough. Which is fine, really. If I relied on traffic and feedback, I could easily turn this into a fucking blog about manatees (judging by my little market study here), kick back and think of myself as a minor blogging celebrity.
Yet I prefer to write about stuff I consider interesting enough to post. In a way, you could say I write this for myself. I love writing (can’t draw worth a fuck, couldn’t play a musical instrument to save my life, and wouldn’t be able to express myself artistically out of a proverbial paper bag).
I draw inspiration for my stupid posts from whatever surrounds my life. Whether it’s fucking wrestling, or the current economy, or what I ate the other day, or where I went, what I listened to, or if something interesting came about on my last trip to Mexico. If I want to make a blog about a particular subject, I can create one, kind of what I did when I decided I like music so much it deserved its own blog. I’m heavily influenced by the E/N sites I used to read when I first started using the internet in that I can write about whatever I feel like, instead of sticking to a certain subject (E/N stands for Everything/Nothing, just so you know).
What I’m trying to say is not that “Whaaa! Only 6 people visited my blog”, but rather “Whaaa! I’m so uninteresting nobody gives a crap about my blog”.

Or my Facebook, for that matter, which becomes a more personal thing. See, that’s where every one most of my contacts are supposed to be acquainted to me. Yet, I seldom notice people have actually cared for anything I do on there. Thanks, family! Thanks, friends! For making me feel miserably invisible!

Ha. That was lame. Yet, I’m not deleting it. That’s all part of how I feel.

Finally, last night the GF and I were talking. I doubt she intended to say what I understood, but the words echo in my head. “Being with you has been a waste of time”.

I love you too!

The Iceberg

Last weekend, the GF and myself took a tour of Riverside Park. Approaching the end of our tour of the place, we encountered a picnic area, and an idea was born in her head: whe should have a picnic. Unfortunately for her, we weren’t carrying foodstuffs, so her plan would have to wait.
A good memory, she has. Sure, she’ll “forget” simple things like brewing coffee in the morning, but when the concept of having a picnic comes into play, fuck me and my desire to organize the font folder on my computer. Just kidding, a picnic wasn’t in reality a bad idea. And she only forgets about the coffee thing 4 times a week.

I followed the WeatherEye thingie on my computer all week. It was supposed to be all sunny and warm (27°C!), up until, of course, Thursday night. It then said there was a thunderstorm watch for Friday. Saturday would be fine, though.
Since it was going to be shitty on Friday, we made plans to not leave the house. Sure, we went for a walk before lunch, but the picnic idea had been placed “on hold”.
She spent the better part of the afternoon playing games on my iPhone, and I watched a documentary about a fucking font – Helvetica, it’s called (and whoop-dee-doo! that’s how much of a fucking nerd I can be, given the right – or wrong – circumstances).
Later we watched TV and had a pointless discussion over, of all things, Bromine. The element, that is. After which I began to wonder if there’s some kind of nerd rehab clinic I can check myself into.

Anyhoo, long story short, Saturday rolled around, and it never rained on Friday. So, we chose to go on our little picnic adventure, ignoring the still present thunderstorm watch on my WeatherEye. Stupid little lyin’ thing!

As you can (hopefully) see from the pic above, there were a few clouds, but nothing major. We had settled on Bridge Park (at least that’s what I think it’s called – stupid internet) because it was nearby. Bridge Park (if that’s its name) is right off Downtown Guelph.
We arrived downtown courtesy of the 5 quid I put into the bus, and walked down Wyndham. The pic was taken in front of the Armory. A couple of blocks later, we were in the park. We walked for a bit, along the trail. We discused the possibility that it might rain later on. We had better head back for the picnic area.
Oblivious to what was about to happen, we took a few pictures on the covered wooden bridge (which always reminds me: not because Clint Eastwood is in a movie, it’s automatically good), crossed Gordon and headed for one of the picnic tables.
I had noticed the clouds getting darker, and predicted lots of rain. But hey, it wasn’t raining right now, so let’s enjoy.
When my GF made a comment regarding the clouds, I looked over my shoulder, and sure enough, I saw the storm front. Still, no rain. When she mentioned almost the same comment, and I turned again, I was surprised at how fast the stupid cloud had moved. We continued eating our sandwiches. Se had already finished her coke. Myself, not being a Coke person, I wasn’t even 1/4 of the way through mine.
Then, just as I placed the last bit of my sandwich into my mouth, it happened.

It wasn’t gradual, or anything. We didn’t even have time to say, in a faux-british accent, “My, the wind is surely picking up!”. As I’d guess they say down in redneck country, “it was as if God Almighty just flicked on a switch”.
The wind was blowing so hard, all of a sudden – and remember, we were in the middle of a shitload of still-leafless trees – it sounded horrible. It was so bad, it won’t cost me any man-points to say I was afraid. The rain was coming down pretty hard, too. Without even speaking, my GF and I put everthing we could into my backpack and fucking ran for it.
It was then when I realized we might be in the middle of something major, here. It wasn’t just raindrops falling from above. It was debris. Branches, twigs, garbage, pebbles, dirt. It was actually a miracle when I caught my Batman hat in my hand after it blew off.
Here’s stupid me, with my girlfriend pulling my left arm, my backpack, my hat and my unfinished Coke Zero in my right. We dashed out of the trees, hit the streets and found temporary refuge outside of a vietnamese restaurant.

By now, it was but a mere rainfall. We were covered in what at first appeared to be mud, but soon revealed itself to be bits of tree bark. We waited it out for 15 or 20 minutes, and decided we’d better head back downtown to grab the bus back home.
When we got to the corner of Wyndham and Wellington, we saw a sign knocked over. You know those signs companies that are too cheap to spring for something professional put up? the ones with brightly colored cardboard lettering? One of those.

Have I mentioned how I’m afraid of lightning? Fuck, I’m so afraid of electricity in general, I have a hard time changing a light bulb. I love thunder when I’m indoors. I fucking can’t get enough of it – the louder, the better. It feels so… awesome. But put me outdoors, and I become a fucking chihuahua dog. I’d rather de devoured by a shark, or cannibals, for that matter, than to be struck by lightning. When it comes to phobias, I’d list lightning just under spiders. I’d rather be stricken by lightning than see a spider larger than my hand. It still ranks slightly above cauliflower, though.

When we finally made it downtown, I noticed the store sign for the KwikKopy was on the sidewalk, shattered into a thousand pieces. Emergency vehicles were everywhere. The entrance to Old Quebec Street mall was crowded by zombie-like people waiting for their respective buses.
I still had to go to the Beer Store, and god’s wrath wasn’t going to stop me. My GF took the bus home, and I took thew one that would take me to Willow West Mall’s Beer Store. Bought my case and walked home. In the fucking rain.
I just had a hot shower, changed into dry clothes, and am sipping the first of many more beers to come. It looks like it stopped raining, and there’s no more wind. I called up my sister in Fergus, and they’re OK, although I saw a couple of my friends on Facebook post about how bad it got in Fergus and Elora.
The WeatherEye says there’s 60% of rain for tomorrow. Let’s hope it’s just rain.

The Iceberg

This is exactly what my life has felt like for a while:

If only this, if only that, and I’m running out of time. All I’ve ever needed was one big break, or two.

The Iceberg

Internet meme is described by Wikipedia as “…a phrase used to describe a catchphrase or concept that spreads quickly from person to person via the Internet, much like an inside joke”.
Some of them start off as bad, others are funny at first but soon become tiresome, and only a few survive as “classics”. Nothing is forever in the world of memes, though.
These are a few internet memes I’ve encountered, and my opinion of them.

Rick Roll
I always hated the rick roll. I was only rick rolled once, but the whole concept was stupid.
You’re reading something of your interest on the internet, mainly on a forum. Someone posts a link, claiming it to be pertinent to the discussion. You click on it hoping to expand your knowledge of the subject at hand, only to discover you are watching the video for Rick Astley’s 1987 song “Never Gonna Give You Up”.
Stupid.

First Post
I mentioned a while ago in my spanish blog how I hate this phenomenon. All I can say is that it takes a certain degree of stupidity to get excited over being the first person to comment on a discussion thread, and have nothing to say except a proclamation that you are, in fact, the first person to post.
My favorite part about this is when somebody goes the extra mile to prove how stupid they are, and their “first post” comment appears two or three posts down the thread.

LOLCats
I’ll admit to having laughed (not sure if Out Loud or not) when I saw the first image of what would later become a meme.

The posting of images of cats with intentionally misspelled captions. Some of them were creative, but the whole thing got played out quite soon. The meme even went so far as to have, even to this day, a special place on Fark.com. Every saturday morning somebody posts a thread about cats, thus labelling saturday as “Caturday”.

Demotivational Posters
I wouldn’t be able to count the amounts of time looking  – and laughing – at these things. Well, at some of them. Some, of course, suck.

FAIL!
A trend consisting of images wherein something has turned out, um, badly. If particularly bad, the caption can say “EPIC FAIL”, or as in the second cake picture, a descriptive kind of FAIL can be used.

And there you have it, folks… Finally, a post with pictures on it. I’ve been struggling with a particularly severe case of Writer’s Block, some depression, and to make things worse, until last weekend, photoshop withdrawal smptoms. I apologize.

The Iceberg.

A few posts ago I said something to the effect of being able to die happy if a couple of movies were remade. Just a minute ago, I saw this. Now excuse me, I have to go change.

The Iceberg

Of all the WWE Pay-Per-Views, quality or lack thereof notwithstanding, I dislike Wrestlemania the most. As happens with “great” events such as the superbowl, the create too much expectation, flashy shows, guest performances and well, the traditional segment where a non-wrestling celebrity participates in a match (and usually wins).

Wrestlemania XXV took place in Houston, TX, and marked the twenty-fifth anniversary of this event, so of course they had to go all the way to make it as unbearably dumb “special” as possible – except for a couple of exceptions.

Things begin with one of the chicks from The Pussycat Dolls singing “America The Beautiful”, for no reason whatsoever. She’s hot, so I’ll let that slide. Then the actual event started.

8-Man “Money In The Bank” Ladder Match
The first match was an 8 man ladder match in which the object is to obtain a briefcase that hangs over the ring which is supposed to contain a contract which allows the winner of the match an opportunity to challenge any WWE champion at any time over the course of a year.
This time, the 8 contestants were CM Punk, Mark Henry, Kofi Kingston, Shelton Benjamin, Kane, Christian, Finlay and MVP.
There have been much better matches of this kind (the one from 2007 comes to mind), and to say the truth,  the outcome was kind of predictable. After all, CM Punk is the only one that has been pushed, which is, in my opinion, bullshit. Kane, Mark Henry and Shelton Benjamin definitely deserve a shot to achive something other than a mid-card level. So do Finlay and Kingston, I guess. And MVP.
In any case, the match ended too soon, and CM Punk won for the second year in a row.

Performance by Kid Rock
Is Kid Rock even relevant anymore? Sure, he’s a redneck, and WWE is typically a redneck “sport” (like Nascar), but of all people, KID FUCKING ROCK?
And not only that, but doing a fucking medley. To be fair, though, he did sound good.

25 Diva “Miss Wrestlemania” Elimination Match
While Kid Rock was doing the last song in his medley (a song called So Hott), the 25 divas walked out to the ring. While the announcers were still praising Kid Rock the match started, and when Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler realized it, a lot of divas had already been eliminated. What a lack of respect towards their female talent.
Speaking of lack of respect for the female talent, gues who won the match in the end? Santino Marella, in drag.
It’s like those Halloween costume contests where a lot of people put real effort in creating their costumes, and the stupid DJs at the club give the prize to some fat dude, because he’s really ugly, and they’re oh-so-fucking-funny. Whatever.

Chris Jericho vs. a bunch of legends (and the typical “celebrity” segment)
So, Chris Jericho blames Mickey Rourke’s performance in “The Wrestler” for making older wrestlers think they can recapture their glory, and next thing you know, there’s a match between Jericho and Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, with Ric Flair in their corner.
Of course, in attendance, is Mickey Rourke. Jericho defeats the three opponents, then kicks Ric Flair around, and finally challenges Rourke to come to the ring. And of course, it only takes a punch to knock Jericho out. Rourke mercifully puts his hat back on and covers whatever passes for a ‘do on his head, hugs Flair, and I go for a smoke.
I remember when Jericho used to be entertaining. Now he comes off more boring than Randy Orton, which believe me, is saying A LOT.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy, “Extreme Rules” Match
This match, on paper, had a lot of potential. It had the whole animosity between brothers angle, and of course the fact that both of them are talented wrestlers (especially Jeff, who puts on a good show). So what does the WWE do? Of course, turn to slapstick comedy. Jeff putting a trash can over Matt’s head and shoulders and beating it with a crutch.
They did beat the shit out of each other for a bit, the brought out tables, chairs, even a fucking vacuum cleaner… but the match ended too soon.
Jeff Hardy is demented, though. I don’t see myself in any instance in which I’d throw myself off a ladder and fall on my ass. Not even if I landed on a huge pile of cotton candy. Well, OK, maybe if it was cotton candy.
In the end, Matt won by performing a twist of fate on Jeff, whose head was stuck in a chair.

Rey Misterio, Jr. vs JBL, Intercontinental Championship match
JBL walks out to the ring holding a microphone and telling the audience how he promises “history will be made tonight”, or some nonsense. Then Mysterio walks out looking like a bird with a Dollar Store Joker costume. Hey, I told you, Wrestlemania is “special”. I just didn’t specify which kind of “special”.
Before the match starts, JBL kicks the shit out of Mysterio. Then the match starts, and 15 seconds later Mysterio hits the 619 (his stupidly pointless finishing maneuver) and defeats JBL to become the new Intercontinental Champion in 21 seconds sharp.
For those of you who don’t know, JBL is almost twice the size of Mysterio. Just to give you perspective.
After the match, JBL throws a hissy fit and says “I Quit”.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
This is quite posibly the best match I have ever seen. Well, except for the whole “Shawn Michaels descends from the heavens and the Undertaker rises from Hell” bit. But seriously, what a great match.
Take the two oldest active veterans of the WWE, who also happen to be excellent wrestlers. Throw them into a ring and let them beat the crap out of each other for an hour. Call one of them “Mr. Wrestlemania”, and have the other one have a 16-0 winning streak in Wrestlemania events. Instant classic.
Under risk of sounding like a fucking fanboi, seriously, I enjoyed the fuck out of this match. They went through all the tricks, their catalog of finishing manoeuvers, and solid wrestling (well, the Undertaker didn’t perform the “old School”, but still…). It’s the first time I’ve watched a match on the edge of my seat (figuratively speaking, as I was perfectly comfortable in a slouched position on the Couch Of Doom).
After a neverending slew of finishing moves, kickouts and other stunts, finally the Undertaker extended his streak to 17-0.
Jim Ross’s comment at the end of the match sums it up quite well: “As a wrestling fan, what more could you ask for?”.

If only the event ended there. But of course, the Championship matches were yet to happen. Yawn.

Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena, Heavyweight Championship match
As much as I love Edge’s off-ring antics, and as much of a good wrestler he is, there’s not that many matches of his I remember enjoying. Add the slower-than-molasses Big Show, and top it off with fucking John Cena, and fuck, I wish I could fast forward. In the end, as always, fucking John Cena won and became the new Heavyweight Champion.
Why the fuck is Vickie Guerrero always in a fucking wheelchair? Is she just too fat and lazy to fucking walk anywhere? Anyway, there’s one more match. Oh joy.

Randy Orton vs. Triple H, WWE Championship match
Speaking of boring matches, boring performances and boring wrestlers, the last match of the night was for the WWE Championship. Of course, there was a special stipulation, as always. If Triple H was counted out or disqualified, he’d lose the title anyway. In WWE-speak, this means the referee will eventually end up “unconscious”, during which Triple H will do something “illegal” and win anyway. I predicted this before it happened, but it’s not because I’m some kind of seer. It’s just the way the WWE rolls.
Even if I didn’t hate Orton and H, it was a disappointing match. It didn’t live up to the hype. Then it ended, and on that note Wrestlemania XXVI was announced for Arizona next year.

Overall, not a very good PPV. But the match between the Undertaker and Shawn Michaels was worth the $59.99. Mark my words, this match will be a classic.

The Iceberg.

A long, long time ago I used to use ICQ. Remember that one? This was over 10 years ago. One of the things I liked about ICQ was that you could search for random people to talk to. You could select people with similar tastes, which is how I was able to meet a bunch of metal fans from all over. I lost contact with all of them, but oh well.

At around the same time I used mIRC, but I used it mostly to be an asshole. In one instance, though, I met a chick from Mexico City, but the farthest that got was an email exchange. At the time I had an account with RocketMail, and when I lost that, there went my friend.

Then I started using Napster (sorry Lars!), which had an option to talk to the people you were copying from, or who were copying from you. We all know how that ended.

At this time, I went through the process of formatting my computer every couple of months or so, because it was a piece of shit. I never really bothered reinstalling ICQ or mIRC. Then I started hearing about MSN Messenger. Since I already had a Hotmail account, it was easy for me to sign up.
It’s the Messenger service I still use to this day, although now it’s called Windows Live Messenger, and its new version sucks. I don’t even interact that much with most of my contacts, though, which leads me to believe it’s time to delete a few of them. Including very “close” friends who hardly ever  log on, or bother to respond to my messages. The funny thing is when you stumble upon a contact and you think to yourself “who the fuck is this person, and why is he/she on my Messenger contact list?”
I know a few people have deleted me. For whatever reason, canadians aren’t too keen on “chatting”, instead I guess they use Messenger for informative purposes only… fuck’em anyway.

A few years ago I ignored the pleas of Public Enemy, and I believed the hype: Hearing how it was the best thing in the world, I signed up for a MySpace account. My adventures on the dark side were short-lived, however, as I never bothered to sign up again, or edit my profile. This was more or less around the time Facebook showed up as a public place (as opposed to the college-only project it had started as). I think it was one of my coworkers who sent me an invite to join Facebook (coincidentally, she was, shortly after, one of the ones to block me from Messenger). I signed up in the hopes of finding people I had lost touch with, and well, the possibility of “networking”. But then, everybody was trying to “bite me”, inviting me to add stupid-assed apps, join MobWars, take random quizzes… You might remember I posted about this a few days ago.
It got so bad, that I decided to create a blog called “cacabook” and just speak ill of people for whom the concept of “social networking” was too complicated. I still haven’t done anything with it, but hey, I just might one of these days…

And my final “antisocial networking” comment comes courtesy of last night. I was browsing the apps for the iPhone on the iTunes store, when I saw there were a few realted to Twitter. I got curious, and since there wasn’t anything interesting on TV, I entertained myself by trying to sign up for an account. When I did, I saw something odd – Somebody had already signed up for an account with the name “iceberglandia”, and hey! they even had the password I wanted to use.
Turns out, I guess I had created an account last year, and gee, I didn’t even remember. Must’ve been one of those nights… Judging by what I had written, I guess it was one of those nights: “I miss the comfort in being sad” – a quote from a Nirvana song – posted on May 3rd of last year.
But I guess Twitter has grown in popularity, so I figured I’ll give it a try.
I tried fucking around with the settings earlier this morning, and was unable to change my background and my profile picture. I’m sure I’ll get it someday, though.

So yeah, I’ve “networked” for more than a decade now, and I still have no friends other than the ones I already knew in person.

Fuck.

The Iceberg.

I’ve been watching a shitload of movies lately. Some of them good, others plain bad. I’ve been surprised (for better and for worse) a couple of times after having a preconceived idea of a couple of movies, but in general, it’s a relatively cheap way to spend all this free time I’ve had. Movies and beer. What a tradition.
Here are my opinions about some of them. I’ll list them in alphabetical order, just because.

Australia
What the fuck? I said it before watching this movie, and it’s still true: I’ve never watched a movie with Nicole Kidman that I like. What a boring, convoluted bunch of random storylines that have little to do with each other. And to make matters worse, it’s 2 and a half hours long. In fact, I fell asleep while watching it the first time. The next morning, I had to fast forward through it to find the part where I left off.
The only good thing about this movie is that Hugh Jackman is a very good actor.

Bedtime Stories
I’m not Adam Sandler’s biggest fan, and I’m not a fan of Disney movies. Yet somehow I ended up liking this movie for whatever reason. While watching it, I kept asking myself “who is the chick?”, until it hit me. “It’s Felicity! Why do I know that? Shit, it’s time to turn in my man card”.

Blindness
It wasn’t a bad movie, but it’s not something I’d watch again. It gets bonus points because one of the locations for the movie was right here in Guelph.

Burn After Reading
When critics describe a movie as “the comedy of the year”, I know they’re full of shit. Still, this had Clooney and Brad Pitt, so at least good acting was to be expected. I ended up not liking the movie. It has a normal pace until the last five minutes, where everything happens off camera, and then it ends. FUCK YOU COEN BROTHERS!

Madagascar - Escape 2 Africa
More shenanigans from these little animals. This time around, no laughing out loud moments. Even the penguins (who were my favorite part of the original) were less amusing. Still, it entertained me, so I have nothing bad to say.

Marley & Me
Don’t you hate it when a movie trailer is misleading? When I saw the trailer for this one, I thought for sure it would be a comedy. What else have Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston done lately, for starters? Throw in a mischevious dog, and well, you expect comedy. And while it does have its comedic moments, I’d classify it as more of a drama. But yeah, I liked it.
Also, what happened to Jennifer Aniston? She looks weird.

Seven Pounds
Maybe it was the fact that I started watching this very late into the evening, maybe it was the fact that I had already downed quite the couple of beers, or maybe it’s just the fact that I’m an idiot, but halfway through the movie, I still had no idea what was going on. This almost made me give up and go to bed, but fortunately I opted to continue watching. When I finally grasped what was going on, I decided it’s actually a great movie.

Step Brothers
I hate will ferrell so much, I don’t even capitalize his name. Which is why I took my sweet time before finally deciding to watch it. To say the truth, it’s not as bad a movie as I had thought, although you might notice I didn’t exactly say I liked it. It’s stupid as all hell, and watching two grown up actors acting like fucking six-year-olds was more disturbing than annoying.

The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
As was the case with Australia, this clocked in at over two and a half hours (wasn’t it supposed to be based on a “short” story? – Ha!). The difference with Australia, however, is that this one is at least interesting. Despite obvious comparisons to Forrest Gump.

Transporter 3
Is it just me, or did the premise of the tough guy having to deal with a useless and annoying female character get played out since the days of Schwarzenegger and Rae Dawn Chong in Commando? Or Schwarzenegger and Maria Conchita Alonso in The Running Man?
Still, not a bad movie, if you’re into mindless explosions and car chases and tough guy heroics.

Yes Man
Hey, it’s a Jim Carrey flick. I left my expectations at the door. And in fact, I quite enjoyed the film. The premise was interesting, and the slapstick was kept to a minimum.

I watched a couple more, but I guess this’ll have to do for now. Oh, whatever you do, save yourself the money. Don’t rent “Choke”. Let’s just say it does.

The Iceberg.

Well, enough with the bitching, no? It’s all I’ve done for the last few posts. It’s time to shake things up a bit and present to you the Youtube video for the intro to the Watchmen cartoon I guess they showed sometime in the 80’s or 90’s:

You gotta love Dr. Manhattan turning into a car and going to bed early, Rorschach petting dogs and juggling pies, Nite Owl II getting his disco on, Silk Spectre being a pop sensation and The Comedian being in love with her. Wait, WHAT?

My favorite part is the clip where the Comedian goes flying through the window, just like in the movie – only to be caught by Ozy. And when all is said and done, there’s pizza for everybody!

What a hoot! I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw it.

The Iceberg